亚洲一卡久久4卡5卡6卡7卡丨国产aⅴ精品一区二区三理论片丨国产av亚洲精品久久久久李知恩丨亚洲一区av无码少妇电影玲奈丨欧美日韩国产手机在线视频一区二区

智友顧問近3年文書精彩段落賞析

瀏覽量:161次

寫在前面

敢于主動公開文書的中介,除了智友,你可能找不到第二家了。

“智友留學(xué)由一群業(yè)內(nèi)從業(yè)經(jīng)歷最頂尖、最豐富的留學(xué)顧問組成。”—這是我們在官網(wǎng)首頁最顯眼的位置,打的公司slogan。有資深廣告人痛批我們的slogan毫無新意,“哪家中介會說自己的老師經(jīng)驗不豐富?”但小智毅然決然的拒絕更換,因為相對于各種花式噱頭,顧問團隊的實力,才是智友留學(xué)安身立命的根本。而這并不是說說而已。“智友”是個年輕的品牌,但背后的團隊成員卻都是個個老成。下面,小智帶大家一起來賞析近3年來,智友背后的顧問團隊老師們,創(chuàng)作出的一篇篇佳作。相信你認(rèn)真讀完后,會對智友的老師們刮目相看。

Example 1

Harvard公共衛(wèi)生錄取

Right now, I am brave enough to say, I have depression, but I am proud of my life. I graduated in advance from UCSD; I earned several As in graduate level organic chemistry courses; I had outstanding performance in research and volunteer activities. I smiled a lot every day and I developed the habit of regular check-up with my psychologist. It is not easy to deal with depression, but it is not impossible. I am proud of what I strived for myself. Even I know I am a small individual and has limited ability, I would like to try and devote all of my passion to this field. I can feel what you have been through and I am right now standing here talking about my experiences calmly, and I think you also can.

我自己就是抑郁癥患者,但是我敢于表達出來,這是很多抑郁癥病人所不敢面對的,這是亮點一;我說了我有抑郁癥,但是我并不是悲觀的態(tài)度,相反,病情并沒有阻礙我狂拿A、提早畢業(yè)、進頂級研究所,我完勝病魔!這是亮點二;我不僅自己可以做到,我的親身經(jīng)歷使我相信大家都可以做到,我不是站在你對面說教,我理解你,我就站在你身旁,和你一起扛!這是亮點三。多么完美的公共衛(wèi)生PS。

Example 2

JHU醫(yī)學(xué)院錄取

My father has long been suffering from Chronic Gastritis, and each time I accompanied him to take the gastroscopy, I couldn’t help crying when seeing how painful he was from his exaggerated facial expression and body language. My heart melted with pity for my poor father, “why abominable diseases intrude people’s life? Why our happy life being interrupted? Why we can’t radically defeat them?”

文書不僅要講專業(yè),更要講情懷。相比大把賺鈔票,為了治好父親的胃病而研究幽門螺桿菌不就是情懷的體現(xiàn)嗎?說起來容易做起來難,真想寫的真,要講究技巧。上面這段有幾個技巧。1.帶父親做胃鏡有畫面感;2.三個why排比,語勢強烈,很容易引導(dǎo)讀者的情緒。這樣的文章首段,還愁教授不會有興趣繼續(xù)往下看嗎?

Example 3

UCLA機械工程錄取

After graduation, I will embark on my long coveted automobile career, and Tesla Motors is my first ideal destination because of its well-known automatically-controlled automobile research. After about five years’ experience accumulation and expertise refinement, I hope to come back to China and dedicate my whole professional life to the development of Chinese automobile industry. Metropolises in China are suffering from excessive vehicle saturation and a nearly standstill traffic condition. For many times I’m wondering if I can make my due contribution to the settlement of this problem from vehicle itself. With sufficient localization, a car intelligent enough to choose the most efficient paths and reduce or completely avoid collisions might be a solution. In addition, traditional vehicle deprives the rights of the disabled, the old, and the unskilled ones to enjoy the fun of driving and the convenience it brings, while self-driving car might give them justice.

好文書和差文書的差距在哪?差文書也會說我將來想做自動駕駛,也會說我理想的雇主是特斯拉,也會說我要為汽車行業(yè)的革命做貢獻。但差文書說不出來的是他/她的事業(yè)能夠為社會進步帶來什么樣的具體的幫助。“輔助緩解交通擁堵”、“讓高齡人群享受出行便利”等等這些點,都是好文書的特質(zhì)。提煉一句,好文書行文要簡潔,想法要具體,這就是學(xué)校再三強調(diào)的concise but specific的確切含義。

Example 4

CMU計算生物學(xué)錄取

Starting from the beginning of 2016, I was hired by the Scripps Research Institute to deeply study dynein dynactin complex in Lander’s Lab. Dynien-dynaction complex has been studied for decades functionally, but it is studied structurally just recently thanks to the emergence of cryo-Electron microscope. Elucidating the structural organization of the subunits of the dynien-dynaction complex will help us understand how it is regulated to achieve progressive movement of cellular cargoes along the microtubules, and the goal of our research is exactly to structurally characterize the three dimensional architecture of the dynein-dynactin complex bound to microtubules using a combination of ultrastructural techniques including cry-electron tomography and subtomogram averaging. My major responsibility in the team was to use Etomo program to process and reconstruct the dynein dynactin complex from the raw data collected by electron microscope. Through a series of operations like extraction, subtomogram averaging, and docking, we finally obtained the 3D structure of the protein with better resolution. In this working process, I gained the opportunities to learn python programing language, EMAN and multivariate statistical analysis. I finally became expert in dealing with IMOD and Chimera (UCSF) programs.

教科書式的核心經(jīng)歷描述(實習(xí)和科研都適用)。除了交代清楚這段經(jīng)歷本身的意義和目的外,一定要突出自己和這段經(jīng)歷的關(guān)聯(lián)。1.你在其中的role; 2.你對項目推進的貢獻; 反過來 3.這段經(jīng)歷給你帶來的提高。切記千萬不要大篇幅寫詳細的步驟,step1, step2, step3你是如何操作的這項實驗,毫無意義。

Example 5

CMU計算機錄取

I once read a thought-provoking story in the book Dreaming in Code. A battery of gifted computer scientists fought like monsters trapped in the mire of developing seemingly simple software, Chandler. The more they struggled, the deeper they fell in. Rather than the story itself, I am more interested in the methods and concepts mentioned. I concluded the four big questions attracted me in the story: Is open source spirit really helpful? How much will better back-end algorithms improve overall work efficiency? Why collaboration and presentation help products stand out? And what exactly is extreme programming?

從專業(yè)相關(guān)書籍中提煉問題,然后下文圍繞這些問題講自己的經(jīng)歷,談自己的想法。這種套路寫好了簡直是通殺所有大牛校。當(dāng)然這樣的思路難度很大。要求申請人本身對專業(yè)理解較深,而且學(xué)術(shù)涉獵廣泛,有自己的見解和觀點,具備深度思考的能力。

Example 6

UChicago民族音樂學(xué)博士錄取

Statement of Purpose

—— Ethnomusicology, my way of approaching the world and sharing my story

“Music is more than an object of study: it is a way of perceiving the world. A tool of understanding.”– Attali, Noise: The Political Economy of Music

My affection for music carries me on whenever I'm going crazy balancing research papers, fieldworks, academic conferences, teaching and performing activities at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. It is exactly through those experiences that I realize the meanings of music, as Christopher Small suggests, lie not in objects, not in musical works, but in actions, in what people do. Such perceptions not only assist me understanding one’s behaviors and interpreting one’s culture through ethnomusicological studies, but also make me aware of the significance of training. 

不用小智我贅言,讀完這段,有沒有覺得逼格很高?這種風(fēng)格非常適用于文科類專業(yè)申請文書。

Example 7

MIT金融錄取

Having studied finance for four years and worked full-time as a loan officer for more than half a year, I realize that the development of small and medium sized enterprises (SMEs) are greatly constrained.

During my internship in the fixed-income department of China Everbright Securities, I first realized that numerous SMEs were experiencing financing constraints. Because of this experience, I continued to focus on this issue in my undergraduate thesis and I analyzed in depth to what extent the venture capital could help SMEs. Based on actual cases and empirical data analysis, I discovered that only a small portion of SMEs—usually high-tech enterprises—could be backed by venture-capital funds; however, these SMEs’ business performances did not improve significantly with the support from venture capital, which was totally contrary to expectations and hypotheses.

從細節(jié)入手,是寫作成功文書的一大奧妙。有很多學(xué)生變著法的向教授表達志向,說自己有多熱愛金融專業(yè),從小在金融世家,七大姑八大姨天天談ipo,炒股,耳濡目染,深深的愛上了金融。小智想說:俗!太俗!俗不可耐!!這篇文書小智從學(xué)生做中小企業(yè)貸款時發(fā)現(xiàn)在中國,即便很優(yōu)質(zhì)的中小企業(yè)也難以從銀行獲得融資的金融現(xiàn)實問題入手,談學(xué)生對金融本質(zhì)的理解和看法,以及將來想要為解決中小企業(yè)貸款難的問題貢獻自己一份力量的具體方法和設(shè)想。如此成熟,教授豈能不愛?

Example 8

Columbia運籌學(xué)錄取

With a crystal-clear goal of heading to Wall Street bulge bracket after graduation, my school list “portfolio” was created with the basis of taking “whether or not the school is an investment bank target school” as a primary factor, and definitely Columbia University is my top choice. Frankly speaking, if admitted by the MS in Operations Research program in Columbia University, I would withdraw all the other programs’ applications because Columbia is my dream school. I prefer Columbia University than any others for the following reasons. Firstly…Secondly…blabla

這里有幾個點小智想說一下。第一,學(xué)生申請運籌學(xué),運籌學(xué)是做什么的?做最優(yōu)化的,學(xué)生將來想做投資組合portfolio的優(yōu)化,這個小智在上文中已有交代。那么這段中小智就給她用了portfolio這個詞,但是表達的是學(xué)校名單這個“portfolio”,表達的是選校組合。這樣做的妙處在于,用專業(yè)領(lǐng)域內(nèi)的專有名詞,表達領(lǐng)域之外的概念,是一種專業(yè)素養(yǎng)較高,能夠融會貫通,且專業(yè)意識較強的表現(xiàn)。這里小智用了這樣的一個小trick。第二點呢,小智這里很直白的說我想去哥大就是因為你們學(xué)校是投行的target school,而我畢業(yè)后就是想去投行,表達的非常直白。包括其他文書中小智還給學(xué)生表達過自己很money-driven。不用擔(dān)心,這種直接的態(tài)度,是投行很欣賞的,也是金融學(xué)術(shù)圈里早就默認(rèn)的價值觀。所以說,寫好文書,如果對申請專業(yè)領(lǐng)域的一些“道道“比較熟悉的話,寫出來人家會看得很親切。第三點,更直接,如果你們錄取我了,我就會withdraw所有其他學(xué)校的申請。怎么樣,智友的文書就是這么與眾不同。當(dāng)然,這一切源于我們深諳教授的錄取標(biāo)準(zhǔn),而不是拿學(xué)生的前途在冒風(fēng)險。

Example 9

CMU計算金融錄取

The MSCF program in Carnegie Mellon has many advantages and can supplement my background in many aspects. First and foremost, in consideration of my pervious background is mainly in mathematics, and my programming skill is relatively weak compared with my strong mathematical modeling ability and relevant rich experience, my greatest aspiration from attending the MSCF program is to get my programming ability enhanced. While, of course I have the basis of learning programming languages. I have a good knowledge of R programming in statistical methods, attaining p-values in hypothesis tests by Monte Carlo Simulations and Bootstraps under categorical data and numerical data; I’ve taken Java courses for two quarters and I am able to have rigorous computational logics and exercised my brain to learn other languages such as C++ and Python more easily and faster. Apart from programming, the machine learning training is also an important attraction to me. As the top computer science school in the whole world, I have reason to believe CMU’s machine learning course would be very fantastic and cool in teaching regularized regression, bias-variance tradeoffs, and model validation and assessment.

Secondly, as a recent graduate with very limited working experience in the financial circle, I clearly understand how significant work experience is for me to start my career in America after graduation from MSCF. Thus, the Deutsche Bank Trading Competition and the nearly 100% secured summer internship opportunity MSCF program offers seem to be invaluable for me to get a better sense of the full-time position of my desired direction, helping me hit the ground running upon graduation.

Lastly, the curriculum of MSCF program is well-organized and I wish to choose to focus on asset management in my final semester to further narrow my focus down before entering into workplace.

經(jīng)典的why school段落。寫為什么要申請對方學(xué)校,要把握這樣幾個要領(lǐng)。1.展示你對對方的program研究的很透徹。2.表達對方能提供的,恰恰是你最需要的。3.描述假設(shè)自己被錄取,簡單的study plan。這三點都做到,why school段落就算完美了。

Example 10

Duke管理學(xué)研究錄取

微信圖片_20210122144827

上來就表達自己的觀點:想成為一名優(yōu)秀的經(jīng)理人,需要四方面素質(zhì)。每方面都占一個固定比例(直接用餅圖直觀的表現(xiàn)出來)。下文中小智就結(jié)合學(xué)生的實際經(jīng)歷談他在這四個維度上,都得到了怎樣的鍛煉,以及具備了充分的基礎(chǔ)。全文邏輯清晰、層次分明、有主有次,而這篇文章的行文本身所展現(xiàn)出來的素養(yǎng),不正是一名優(yōu)秀的職業(yè)經(jīng)理人應(yīng)該具備的quality嗎?

港真,還有太多太多的優(yōu)秀文書段落小智想要拍在這給你看,但是文章篇幅有限,大家想看更多精彩文書,歡迎隨時到智友的學(xué)生自習(xí)室來,你邊看小智邊給你解讀~


(關(guān)注智友留學(xué)公眾號ID:zhiyouliuxue,下載10G英語學(xué)習(xí)和留學(xué)申請資料)


 

主站蜘蛛池模板: 江口县| 吴忠市| 布尔津县| 临湘市| 怀化市| 建阳市| 阿克陶县| 政和县| 广东省| 犍为县| 广德县| 蕲春县| 石家庄市| 乐业县| 峨眉山市| 胶州市| 平遥县| 宣恩县| 徐汇区| 县级市| 汉源县| 宽城| 昌图县| 乐昌市| 筠连县| 正宁县| 洪洞县| 棋牌| 木兰县| 清苑县| 呼图壁县| 平武县| 衡阳市| 哈尔滨市| 芦溪县| 马尔康县| 天津市| 鄄城县| 巴中市| 旬阳县| 天祝|